To America – where else? – where Donald Trump has launched something called Trump Accounts, which promises to ‘give every newborn American child a financial stake in the future’.
They’d probably settle for some sort of guarantee they won’t be gunned down in the street by a federal law enforcement official at some point in their life, but still.
Trump’s joined forces with Visa which means the money money you spend on your Visa card, the more cash back rewards you earn. Now, instead of using that bonus money on yourself, you can funnel it directly into your Trump Account. Woo-hoo!
Trump: “I’m pleased to announce that Visa is creating a brand new platform that will allow credit card holders to deposit their cash back rewards directly into Trump Accounts. Where’s the head of Visa? Thank you very much.” pic.twitter.com/aGqrgsjmaM
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 28, 2026
In theory, Trump Accounts are a solid financial decision. An investment account for your child seems like a life-long lesson in financial accountability that will build value over time.
On the other hand, it’s Donald Trump. Partnering with Trump on anything money-related has an extremely long track record of ending in financial ruin and bankruptcy.
But no worry, because Treasury secretary Scott Bessent says Trump Accounts are no better than birthday presents!
Scott Bessent on Trump Accounts: “Rather than giving a toy for a birthday or holiday, they can contribute to these accounts” pic.twitter.com/dS0LuCqIMN
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 28, 2026
Needless to say, the new financial plan induced a variety of skeptical reactions online.
1.
Anyone who would do this shit needs to have their fucking head examined.
— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) January 28, 2026
2.
He’s robbing America and literally no one is stopping him. https://t.co/ywCUf3c3gx
— Sara McGee for Texas HD 132 (@SaraForTexLege) January 28, 2026
3.
If you put any money in an account with Trump’s name on it you might as well staple it to his head cause that money is his.
— Steve Martin (@UnrealBluegrass) January 28, 2026
4.
Kids love compound interest. https://t.co/nWrvjSMsuP
— Ron Shillman (@shillman1) January 29, 2026
5.
Rather than giving a toy for a birthday or holiday…
…parents can invest in, and boost the stocks of, the companies and oligarchs who donated large sums to money to Donald Trump’s campaign.
Everything is a grift. https://t.co/e78ly0XKal
— Melanie D’Arrigo (@DarrigoMelanie) January 28, 2026
6.
These people are all fatally disconnected from real human beings. https://t.co/7asbJnvaWV
— Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 (@jimstewartson) January 28, 2026
7.
Fuck you, @Visa. https://t.co/yrh5t06BKe
— Steven DeKnight (@stevendeknight) January 28, 2026
